Pirate’s Folly – Chapter 1 ~ A Fool’s Trap

The first chapter in a series about the misadventures of Bill and Dani, when they find their romantic boating getaway rudely interrupted. Not for the faint of heart.

Chapter 1
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A Fool’s Trap

I really needed to get out of Dodge.  My father had just died about 6 months earlier and I had been carrying a bunch of baggage around about that.  He left us when I was a kid and stayed in touch a little, but not much.  It must have been guilt that drove him to leave everything he had to me.  No note, no “sorry son, I wish I had been there more.” Just a lawyer and the papers.  I knew little about what he did or had, but suddenly I had $40 million in the bank, an apartment in Paris and a Pershing 8X. Jesus, WTF.  So that’s what I did, I got out of Dodge, which was Seattle.  I stepped on that incredible boat, fired her up, and headed north.

The Pershing has a wide range of electronics and it’s all very complex without being trained for a month, but I was a modern boy. I downloaded a great nav app on my phone and thought I would use that until I had the chance to read the manual.  The boat was big for a single person. Usually they have a small crew.  What I did know was that wherever I went, there would be eyes on this thing, so there would be helping hands when it came to docking. Also, this boat has a station-keeping feature that keeps it in place without needing a pilot. You can pull up to a dock, turn this neat GPS feature on, and the boat will stay in place while you jump on deck to get the ropes ready.

I didn’t want to dock though, I just wanted to go to some of the islands and coves I remembered from one of those summers when my dad was around.

I wasn’t going to be entirely alone either. I had a girlfriend, and she was going to join me after a few weeks. The plan was for me to find a nice, secluded anchorage, then taxi her out on a sea plane. The two of us would spend a few romantic weeks together, then we would fly in a few friends and have a soiree.

Those old haunts I went to with my dad to were no longer secluded.  Once a quiet, tucked-away little cove where you could anchor and watch the stars rise in complete silence, Pirates Cove was now a scene. Lots of boats, lots of partying, lots of noise. There was cheering when I pulled in. This would not do. I had to find some peace and quiet. There was not much daylight left though, so I tied up to a flotilla. The evening was spent having a few drinks and selectively choosing who could come aboard to see the boat.  The girls in florescent bikinis were given first choice, followed by some older, experienced boaters.  It was a nice evening but a little raucous for my taste. The next morning was really peaceful.  I untied early and headed north again.

The Straight of Georgia on a calm day was like the Autobahn for the Pershing. I was able to open her up at 47 knots and fly like the wind. Back in the day, it would have taken us 7 hours to do what I did in one.  I cruised as far as I could that day. An incredible flash journey through the fjord-like passageways between Vancouver Island and the mainland British Columbia.  In the afternoon, I had to get gas. $11,000 to fill the tank….

I started to look through my app to see which inlets or coves would be nice. I wanted something tucked away, protected, romantic.  I found it around mid-day, a beautiful tree-lined cove almost completely surrounded.

Dani flew in a week later and I retrieved her from the plane in the tender. She looked a little concerned as she scanned the area. It wasn’t quite what she was expecting. She was game though, and once onboard, the luxuries on the boat made her loosen up. She was definitely a creature of luxury.

      “Okay Billy boy, make me a drink,” she said as she headed down to the master cabin, a red, rolling suitcase bumping down the stairs. “Make it a double!”

A few minutes later she returned topside with some kind of furry coat on. I couldn’t tell if there was anything under it. She looked amazing.

      “Kinda chilly,” she said, plopping down on the couch next to me. She had long black hair that went past her waist. She wrapped it around her hand in front of her while she took a sip of her T&T.

      “Where are we?” She gazed out over the water with a puzzled look. The landscape is pretty stark in this part of the world. Trees were anchored to rocks with maybe a few root strands making it to soil.  A bald eagle was perched up high in the distance, scanning the water for a meal.

By now I had figured out the sound system and had paired it with my phone.  I put some music on.

      “In the middle of nowhere,” I said. I reached over to take some of her hair in my hand. Inspected it as though it were rare jewels. “Not sure you need the fur.  This should keep you warm.”

      “Or hang me!” she laughed. The sound of her laughter echoed in the cove. It was mesmerizing. “WOOO!” she pitched out. Her voice rang around us and hovered there for a while.

This was exactly the vibe I was yearning for.  Isolated in luxury, connected with someone close, intimate.

Dani took another sip then put her drink down.

      “So what’s the plan, mister?” She threw a leg over me and gave me a big kiss. There was, in fact, nothing on under that fur. I ran my hand up her back.

      “Well I think we’re marooned here for a bit. I ran out of gas money.”

      “Oooh, marooned!  I like that.” She settled down on top of me.

A few minutes of pressing and arching went by, drawing me into a reverie.

      “What’s that?” she said suddenly, lifting her head.  I didn’t hear it at first, but then I did. A motor. It got closer. Dani stood up to see who was coming. “Looks like a couple of tools on Jetskis.”

      “You gotta be kidding.”

As they drew close, I saw one guy had a dark beard and kind of a prison-like shirt on. Black and white stripes. He was a caricature of a pirate. He waved to us.

      “Sorry to bother you mate, we’re in a bit of trouble.” He sounded like he was an Aussie or Kiwi. This was really weird.

      “What’s the problem?” I asked.

      “We’re anchored in a cove up the way a bit. Didn’t realize we were taking on water, and the pump’s broken.” The bearded guy took a good look at Dani.

She looked at me, neither of us knowing what to think.

      “Nice tinny you got ere.” He threw me a line and I wrapped it twice around a cleat. He jumped onboard.

      “Yeah, not bad.” I said, quietly. I was really thinking that his story sounded off. “Your boat just started to take on water and you can’t pump it?”

      “Yeah mate, pump’s broken. Lucky we found you guys. Name’s Nick.” He reached a hand out to Dani. Dani didn’t take it. “Look, really hate to put you out but can you take us over there and see what we can do? Maybe hook up your pump?”

      “The system is integrated on this thing. I can’t just pull the pump out and move it.”

      “Don’t be a pessimist, mate. Let’s see what we can do. Otherwise, we’ll be roommates for a while.” He smiled strangely.

I didn’t want these guys for roommates, so I figured we should see what we could do. We fired up the engines and pulled anchor. Nick directed me to cruise north about 5 miles where there was another cove. I spotted an old cabin cruiser. It was not anchored, but rather, tied off to trees on the shore from bow and stern.

      “Deep here,” I said, looking at my app. The cove was about 80 feet deep.

      “Yep, I wouldn’t go jigging for cod ere. All kinds of snags down there,” said the other guy smiling. His hair was a short peroxide blond color and he was excessively tanned.  Nick laughed when he heard that. Not sure what the inside joke was.

We tied up to their cruiser and I immediately saw blood and chunks of something on the deck.

      “What the hell is that?” Dani gasped.

      “Ah, didn’t get to washing off the fish guts. Sorry miss.” Nick grabbed a chunk and tossed it over the side.  As the fleshy piece sank something grabbed it and it disappeared. “Lots of dogfish hereabouts. Wouldn’t want to go swimming here.”

From what I remembered, swarms of dogfish tend to appear when you clean fish but they didn’t hang around boats in swarms unless there was a lot of food.

      “How much water have you taken on?” I asked. I was in a hurry to get this finished.

      “How long have you had this thing,” asked Nick, running his hand along the carbon fiber handrail of the Pershing.

      “Just got it.”

Dani had a look on her face that spoke volumes. Suspicious was probably the best single word, if you had to choose one, but it wasn’t fearful. She was making an assessment of some kind.

      “I’m not feeling 100% Billy, can you give me a hand,” she said and started walking toward the stairs to our stateroom, holding her stomach. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, she turned to me and whispered, “We have a problem.” Immediately, she glanced up to the top of the stairs where Nick was standing.

      “Yeah, I’d say so,” he said.  He was holding a nasty hunting knife in his hand. He walked slowly down the stairs, waving the knife. He directed us toward the stateroom. Once we got in there, he told us to have a seat on the bed. “Well, it’s not a problem really, we just need you to do something for us. Where’s your wallet, mate?”

I don’t know what I was thinking, but I spit out a sarcastic remark.

      “God, I thought you were bringing us to a surprise costume party. So you are actually a pirate?” I said sarcastically, looking at his shirt.  That got me a crushing blow to the jaw, knocking me to the ground.

      “Just a gag, mate. Got the shirt from my last gig. Didn’t want the dogfish to eat it along with its, uh, previous owner.” He smiled at Dani.

      “You pig,” she said with force, staring straight at his eyes. I shook my head at her.

      “I’ll deal with you later,” he said to her, smiling. “Where’s your wallet, mate?” He tapped the tip of the knife on my shoulder.

I walked up the stairs to the helm. The other guy was up there helping himself to my beer, grinning.

      “Cheers, mate.” He lifted the bottle.

I got my wallet out of a drawer and handed it to Nick. He had a quick look through it.

      “So here’s what we’re going to do, William. We’re going to set up a wire transfer. You need to log into your bank account and do that.” Nick’s accomplice tapped a laptop that he had placed on the table. There was also a roll of duct tape.  “Then we need to wait until that money moves. Then we can part ways like it never happened.”

Parting ways was probably Nick’s way of saying we were going to be the next meal for the dogfish. I didn’t see any way these guys were just going to let us sail off.

      “Yeah, no problem. We’ll sort it out,” I said. I walked over to the laptop and logged into my account. “How much?”

      “Whatever you can spot us,” said Nick, laughing dryly. “But let’s make that the max two-fifty.” He placed a sheet of paper with his account details on the table.

It was dark out now and the ambient lighting had kicked in. There was an eerie silence in the cove.  $250k was in fact the maximum my bank would transfer in a single transaction.  Nick’s accomplice was looking through drawers.

      “You like knives, do you?” He pulled a Yanagiba knife out of the drawer at the bar. “What the hell is this?”

      “It’s a sushi knife.”

      “Ah, that might come in handy.”

I finished up the wire transfer.

      “Anything else?”

      “Yeah mate, let’s head back down to the bedroom.” He turned and winked at the accomplice. “I need to have a chat with your girl.” He grabbed the roll of duct tape from the table and we walked down the stairs.

My heart sank. This couldn’t be happening. Back in the stateroom, Dani was sitting on the bed. Nick told me to hold my hands out with my arms together. As he started to wrap the tape around my wrists, Dani lunged at him with a knife she must have found in my desk drawer. I had several. It was great timing, and she nearly got him in the gut, but he dodged out of the way just in time and whacked her across the face. She fell on the floor. I was about to jump him but the accomplice was there and put the Yanagiba to my throat.

      “Don’t move, mate.”

      “Thanks Drew,” said Nick. He dropped the tape, lifted Dani up and threw her up onto the bed. “Now, let’s see.”

Dani crab-walked back to the headboard but Nick grabbed her feet and pulled her back down. He jumped on top of her, straddling her.

      “Where do you think you’re going?” he said with a creepy smile.

      “I think not too far,” said Drew.

      “Nope, this bitch is going to take the lot.” Nick unbuckled his belt.

It must have happened in a split second, but it played out in slow motion to me. Nick was pulling his shirt up when Dani reached under the pillow to her left and struck out at him with a letter opener. Nick, wily man that he was, seemed to anticipate this and snatched her wrist, forcing it down toward the side of the bed and shaking it hard to get her to drop it. She wouldn’t let go. In a fateful decision, he used his other hand pry it loose.  What he didn’t see coming was, while Dani was making a show of struggling with the letter opener, she had grabbed another knife from under the right-side pillow and swung it around, thrusting deep it into his neck. It was an incredible diversionary move.

Everything seemed to freeze in that moment.  Nick was a shivering statue, head arched up and mouth wide open.  Blood was shooting out of his mouth.  Drew was also frozen in disbelief. He slowly turned his head toward me. My hands were still taped but I used that moment to deliver a brutal head butt to the bridge of his nose. That’s all it took.  He went down like a sack of rice, out cold and gushing from his face.

      “NICE!” said Dani. She ran over and hugged me. “What the hell is it with you and your knives? They’re everywhere. I mean, it’s great, but WTF?  I have your little axe hidden in the chair if it came to that.”

I laughed.

      “You are a mastermind. I’m glad I could be of assistance,” I said, sitting down on the bed to catch my breath. I looked around at the carnage. The whole cabin was awash in blood, made even more vivid by all the mirrors.

      “Now what?” she asked.

I sat there for a few minutes looking around.

      “There’s only one way this can go.  Help me get them up to the deck.” We dragged them upstairs, then to the stern of the boat. “Either we spend the next 2 years in courts and maybe end up in jail, or we clean up now and be done with it. This place is as good as any for a burial.”

      “I think that is a fantastic idea.” Dani rolled Nick off the stern with the knife still in his neck. He sank like a rock. I did the same with Drew, but he floated.

      “Aight, he needs a little ballast.” I went to the cabin and returned with this cylindrical statue that came with the boat. It was heavy. I tied a rope to it, and then to Drew’s foot. “Wait, I think we need to make him attractive to the dogfish.” I grabbed the sushi knife and stabbed him a few times. Suddenly, Drew woke up and reached for my leg.

      “OH, SHIT!”

We struggled for a bit, and I kicked his hands off my leg. He wasn’t in great shape with his nose and the sushi carving I just gave him.  Dani grabbed the statue and threw it overboard.  Drew sank slowly, his hands outstretched, clutching at the water, blood streaming from his torso. Dani flipped him off.

The next thing we had to do was sink their boat. There were a few things that needed to go down with it.  The blood soaked mattress and sheets from the stateroom, mainly.  We dragged whatever else we thought might be a problem onto their boat and put them inside the cabin.  I rummaged around in the lazarettes outside and found all kinds of tools. Hack saws, more machetes, an electric drill.

      “Be right back,” I said, and went down into the hold. I drilled several holes in the bottom of their boat.  When I came back out, Dani was standing butt naked on the deck of Annabelle, holding two drinks.

      “Come on Billy, we don’t want to miss the show.”

      “I’m not sure which show I’d rather watch,” I said, stepping onto the Pershing and putting my hand around her waist.

      “Aww.  Do you like the paint?” Dani had made no effort to clean the streaks of blood off her body.

      “War paint!”

We sat on the stern lounge and watched the pirate cruiser slowly list to the starboard side. It gurgled for a while then sank.

      “That’s wikid, mate!” chirped Dani. She gazed over at me.  “Now, where were we?”

Go to the Next Chapter: Pirate’s Folly – The Gauntlet